My follies

Wait a minute! Now, now! Don't go calling me names like that. I just happen to be one of those individuals who like to be in the eye of the storm. Well, of course, it is my wedding after all. If I want purple hair to go with my wedding theme of white and purple, then I jolly well will have it that way! Royal icing it is. No  matter what you say. My wedding cake has to have royal icing. Mah wedding! Mah rules! You don't like plum cake? Well we've got vanilla at the top of the tier for you. Don't fret. But I am certainly having royal icing piped onto my wedding cake. Then came the shoes that I had to wear. They had to be comfortable, chic and had to go with the theme as well. I am sure my mother's legs were screaming when I finally settled for golden ones after spending three days looking for purple shoes to go with the theme. Well those are just few of the things that I was bent upon having. I settled for a purple colored extension just for the occasion of t...

So then there are these pre-wedding exertions. Well, like I've told you earlier, I was on top of my game since I started planning even before the wedding date was fixed. That's just me. Overboard every time. Either too far ahead or too far behind. And while I'd done the organizing part pretty efficiently, there were some things that I had been procrastinating for way too long. You're not going to be getting married everyday! How hard can it be to keep your beauty appointments?  My beautician and friend had chided me. I haven't seen worse skin on any bride-to-be two weeks from her wedding.   If that could have shattered my confidence, I would have been a whole different person in the first place. But then, I am just me. There I was standing, nervously clicking the nails on my thumb and forefinger together, trying to get through the shame of not caring two hoots about my acne. Yes. I have acne at 31. It wasn't really embarrassing, till right about then when I...

Oh well! It's happening, isn't it? Those are my exact thoughts. Are you excited? My friends ask over WhatsApp. Well, they may never find out because most of them cannot make it to the event in question. My wedding. That's what they're talking about. The fact of the matter is that I feel nothing. Sure the organizational part gives me a rush. But that's about it. Don't get me wrong. I am head over heels in love with the man I am going to get married to. But there is something about the whole thing that is yet to hit me. Where are the pre-wedding jitters? Doesn't every bride-to-be feel them? Well before the date was set, I was on the internet. Searching and searching. Making calls to banquet halls and hotels. Finding out what a wedding would cost. Figuring out whether we could afford it or not. I went through Facebook pages and Instagram handles of at least 50 wedding photographers. All those couples in the pictures. They looked pretty. Very pretty indeed....

Stealing the title from a movie couldn't be more justified than it is now. I finally know what it feels like when your companion on the road goes missing. In my case, I just knew it could not be that someone had stolen my car. That is just not possible and yet I could only gawk at the place where I had parked it. The road was right there. But not my car! A 1993, Maruti 800, which was last washed when it rained. You know, that whole new feeling people talk about. No, you wouldn't. Not till you feel it. Then for some reason it struck me, that I had felt like this a million other times when I assumed that someone would take off with my car when I am not around. But that was fear and this was like "O my God! It finally did happen!" kind of a feeling. I think you might know the difference. I always never got the fuel tank full for fear that if my car got impounded I would have wasted a fortune on refueling and then not being able to drive the thing. That was the fi...

It's not enough to squint in the sun, especially, when you add your glow to it. There could not be a more perfect match, the way my hand in yours fits. As cold and distant as it may seem Skin against skin, like in a dream. Neither hot nor cold nor warm it feels A more profound and soft message it seals. Not long enough, not short on time Definitely not like a silly little rhyme. If that's all that I can have from you And if that's all we'll ever do. I see no sorrow I see no regret I see no reason that handshake to forget.

Give me a room in darkness, and a cloth to cover my head Pour wax into my ears, but don't mistake me for dead. Clear the wall of pictures, of colors of blue, of yellow, of red Take away all the words I've heard and all the words I've said. Cover the windows in black, stuff up the crack's in the door Make good use of the rugs so that light does not reflect off the floor. Shut out the noise from outside, the sound of the breeze makes me sore Take away the brass and the gold plate and that painting I bought from that store. Don't let anyone come near me, or call out my name Lock the door on the outside, put bars across it's frame. Don't ask me for my motive, don't ask me for my aim It is not a round of hide and seek, it's not a silly game. Once you have done all this, leave me in my peace Leave me alone in the darkness and all activity, cease. I don't want to think of flowers, of birds, of skies, of trees. Neither of home, of wilderness, of deserts ...